Sensually Sadistic

Sadism is a term named after the Marquis de Sade who, according to his writings, took extreme pleasure in extreme cruelty taken to the outer limits. The New Webster's Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language defines sadism as: 1. sexual gratification gained by causing pain or degradation to others. 2. pleasure in being cruel. 3. extreme cruelty.

Sadism is a sexual perversion where one person gains gratification by inflicting physical or mental pain on others. It can also mean a delight in torment or excessive cruelty.

But what of the 'sadists' that can't be defined or described by the definition above. They can be kind and caring souls whose make sure that their parnter gains fulfilment, pleasure, gratification and satiation from their actions. I guess you could call them Sensual Sadistics.

That is how I see myself, as a Sensual Sadist. I can, and do, inflict pain in varying degrees dependant on the scene and mood, I love to humiliate, but there is more to it for me than that, a bigger picture, and it is for that reason I define myself as a Sensual Sadist. I care about the safe, sane, and consensual exploration of the desires and needs of both myself and my sub. While I will ways respect any limits, I will tease and push the boundaries by getting into their mind and working from there. Slowly over time new boundaries will evolve as the old one dissolve. I love use the ability of the mind to translate the pain, powerlessness, or humiliation into pleasure and satisfaction. I guess you could say that I exploit it by working the body and mind into a delicious opposition of each other. This happens slowly over time and with a deep understanding and knowledge of the submissive.

I believe that first and foremost comes my sub's gratification. Key word here being 'gratification,' not necessarily pleasure. However, most of the things I do has a 'pleasurable' element. Sometimes, needs are so strong, or the fantasies so extreme, they rely on me to be their check and balance through out the experience, for this I need their trust and they must have mine. I would never administer a mild or even playful spanking to an unwilling partner. My pleasure comes from their pleasure and enjoyment, if they are not getting off on what we are doing, well frankly, neither will I. Back to the Ying/Yang energies, coming from two very different angles to feed each other for one goal.

The very core of my Dominance is built upon and revolves around my sub having their needs met and in knowing they are satiated and fulfilled by the experience. I know some Dom/mes believe the sub should find gratification in receiving whatever treatment the Dom/mes may choose to deliver. Each their own, there are some subs out there who do find gratification in being treated with total disregard for their needs or tolerances, but that is not a style I find comfortable in, nor one in which I choose to play. That does not mean play wont be on the sadistic side, just that there is always an underlying current of care, nurturing, pushing and development.

I enjoy the mix of sensual and sadistic in my style of Domination, it works for me, and for my subs That if of course the key to it, finding a style that works for you. We are all different, there is not wrong or right style here, just the one that works for you. Find where you are comfortable and enjoy it, and you will find your style will change with time, just as a subs limits and boundaries do.

The wonderful cycle and growth that is BDSM.