subdrop

Subdrop, what is it, how do you cope with it?

Subdrop is the name given to the feeling often felt by subs after a scene as they return to 'normality' . It can happen within hours, other times it may take a few days. It can be over in no time at all, or can last as long as a few days.

One female sub I talked to likened it to feeling 'premenstrual' . Feeling irritable, unable to concentrate, a bit weepy, clingy, needy. For you male subbies out there, its not unlike a mild depression.

The sub will have been in an intense place during play, and added to this of course, are the hugely elevated amounts of naturally produced hormones, endorphins, adrenaline, etc that will still be flowing around the sub's body. These may take some time to return to normal levels, and there may well be a withdrawal effect, too. The sub will be going through a mental and physical cold turkey, as the endorphins are similar to opiates.

As a Domme after care of my sub is paramount to me. The effects of subdrop will vary from sub to sub, and therefore the way you deal with it will depend on the subs needs.

So how do we deal with it?

In whatever way works best is the answer. Great patience, care and affection will not only help fulfil the subs need for attention, but it also shows that their well being is important to the Dom/me. Not just while they are being used as a play partner, but as the person they are outside of play too. The bond shared during aftercare can be stronger than that made out of purely physical attraction or during play.

To cuddle with sub comfortable in my arms after play, is just as fulfilling in many ways, as the act of taking him to that special subspace of his. Many Dom/mes don't realise this need, and can neglect aftercare, this can be potentially damaging to a sub. For example if the scene has included a good dose of humiliation, the sub could well need your reassurance that seeing them in that state has not changed your opinion of them, often they will be dealing with feeling of guilt and will need to be soothed and reassured.

As a Dom/me you need to try and understand what the sub needs from you, and provide it. Keep them comfortable, watch them for signs of distress let then know you are there for them. With some practice, communication and a consistent approach, the sub will come to understand that you understands what is happening to them and that you are helping them get through it.

Quite often, a sub that has had several bad experiences of subdrop will begin to ask themselves if the highs achieved during subspace are worth the lows of subdrop set against them. If they know that their Dom/me will do all in their power to provide this aftercare then there will rarely be a question about going to subspace.

Dream`