Punishment

Something today got me thinking about this subject, so I have decided to post my views on it.

'Punishment is the practice of imposing something unpleasant on a subject as a response to some unwanted behaviour or disobedience that the subject has displayed.

Punishment is a term from Psychological Learning Theory that has a precise meaning; it refers to something that causes a behaviour to lessen in intensity. There is nothing that is intrinsically punishing. A thing is called punishing if, when it is applied, it results in the reduction of behaviour that you want to reduce.'

I don't like the word punishment. I much prefer the term 'correction' and the correction should always fit the situation, and never be administered in anger

I believe most subs will do their best to please their Dom/me. If there is any 'displeasure', then they will feel bad enough, and be hard enough of themselves. Often it is enough that they know they have displeased their Dom/me. If my sub has displeased me, I would rather talk to them and explain why it had displeased me and then ask then to explain to me why they did it. We would then discuss it so that both of us understood and if a similar situation arose they would know what was expected and what to do.

Of course a lot of what happens in the process of correction will depend on the sub. I have known sub who like to be 'punished' in a play role, for minor indiscretions. Major ones would have to involve discussion in order for them to be resolved. I have also known subs who need to have correction handled in a very different way.

Yes, ultimately it is down to the Dom/me when and how they use it, but I believe it is a subject that should involve a lot of discussion, open, honest discussion. I have known subs who have said that, at times, they have found it hard to talk to their Dom/me about an issue for fear of their wrath. That is not how I want my subs to feel, because if the don't feel they can talk to you, there is a vital error in the relationship for me.

True 'punishment' is reserved for severe incidents or continual problems, or perhaps needed to work on stubbornness and to improve humility. Various things can be punishment, not necessarily physical, but mental aspects such as humiliation can do this just as well.

Punishment should be used cautiously as the dominant's role is to teach, to train, to bring the submissive into a better compliance with expectations, used incorrectly, it can adversely affect the relationship.

I have, and never would use BDSM as an 'excuse' for punishment. My partner is man, and does not need to be treated like a naughty kid. For me the crop/paddle/flogger etc, are all used by mutual consent and we gain mutual pleasure from it in our own ways, so the use of these for punishment is one I have reservations over, as the last thing I want is a sub that will misbehave in order to get a spanking. There is a fine line that is easy to cross, and subs who misbehave in order to have 'playtime' need to realise that, that behaviour will in fact result in no play from me.

But in play context, sure... 'Bend over and let me tan that butt you bad boy!' ~winks~